Just a little talk with God

I struggle with prayer. Not the concept but doing it regularly and in a way that I think is fitting for my relationship with God. I've never been one to pray outloud. I remember as a kid watching Grandma Walton (from The Waltons TV show) say a prayer in bed. She basically closed her eyes, said a silent prayer, then told Grandpa Walton goodnight. It was the first time I realized that I could pray without getting on my knees, bowing my head, and folding my hands. As a result, I felt that if Grandma Walton could be this informal in her prayer, then so could I. But somewhere deep down, I always felt that those informal prayers were not really as valuable as those that were done with a purpose, you know, where I really set down and said, this is a prayer.

But what really is a prayer anyway? Well, in my uneducated way of thinking it is really just talking to God. I know God loves me and has a plan for my life. I am very thankful for all He has done for me and my family. I just don't feel like I express is well or often enough. I also struggle asking for God's support and gifts. I was raised in a southern Methodist church and rightly or wrongly, I always felt that asking God for blessings in our lives was not how things worked. That we should only pray for forgiveness, give prayers of thanks, and then if we needed it, pray for deliverance. Perhaps all of this is why I struggle with prayer. Perhaps I don't really know how to have a conversation with God.

The good news is that I can keep trying. I have learned that God doesn't expect me to be perfect. He knows that every day I will make mistakes but that he loves me and forgives me as soon as those mistakes happen. I am sure I will keep struggling with prayer but I will also keep trying. I do believe it is like most anything else, the more you do it, the better you get at it.

And now, I'm going to go talk with God.